How we go about creating in our lives differs markedly from person-to-person. One of the big differences is whether we seek to experience ourselves via the process of attaining a goal or through the attainment of the goal itself.
As an example, let’s take a look at two different perspectives on the topic of competition. These perspectives drive two different approaches towards goal attainment.
My attitude towards competition is:
- If you aren’t having fun, don’t do it.
- It’s not about winning or losing.
- There’s enough to go around.
- You aren’t going to win EVERY time.
- Everyone gets a turn at winning or losing. It’s just part of the process.
My husband on the other hand is more like:
- You’ve got to be in it to win it.
- You play to win.
- No one wants to be on the losing team.
- I am successful when I am the winner.
Now here’s the thing – neither one of us is right or wrong. What this reflects is how we experience life and how we manifest our realities differently.
I am all about the PROCESS.
- I might have a goal, but I focus on the process of how I am going to get there.
- I make sure that I enjoy every step of the journey.
- Goals are negotiable. I might change them as I go and that is perfectly okay!
- Once I reach a goal, my satisfaction comes from looking at how far I have come and who I have become.
My husband however, is all about the GOAL.
- Once you select a goal you stick with it — they are non-negotiable.
- The means can justify the end.
- No pain, no gain, i.e. you may not enjoy the process but the end result is worth it.
- Success and satisfaction come from achieving the goal.
Now you can see how we might drive each other nuts at times, when my husband is racing ahead towards his goal with blinkers on, while I am sitting back enjoying the process of getting there and more than happy to move the goal posts as we go. But in recognising our differences, we can appreciate each other better and work towards a more common ground. Hubby gets things done and I make sure that we enjoy life along the way. He aims for the big goals and I handle the finer details that he can’t be bothered with.
The relevance to you is this….
- Take time to identify how YOU tick. What brings you the most satisfaction? Achieving the goal or revelling in how you got there?
- When in a relationship with anyone – love, work, family, community etc – take time to assess how OTHERS tick so that you can understand them better. This is a gift to both you and them.
- Once you have worked this out, you can understand how you manifest as opposed to how another people manifest. Don’t judge someone for being motivated differently than you. Embrace your differences and work towards a happy middle ground, where both the process of reaching the goal is enjoyable AND the goal is achieved.
Remember, we are all different and that is what makes this life so diverse and enjoyable. Without contrast, we could never know ourselves! It is our differences that help us to identify WHO WE ARE and WHAT WE WANT and that is such a gift.
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