I’m sure you’ve heard it before
If you don’t ask, you don’t get…
The squeaky wheel gets the oil…
And so on and so forth… You know the drill.
The thing is, these statements are very hard to stomach when you grow up being taught:
- Not to make a fuss;
- Being happy with enough;
- Not asking for more than you “need” etc.
It’s funny, because a lot of these attitudes were taught by organisations that held all of the power and all of the wealth. These organisations set the rules for what being a “good human” was all about. What they were really doing was ensuring that the broader population remained subservient and submissive so that they could continue to amass wealth and ensure that the world, and its population, worked for them. Of course, this attitude was based on a belief of limited resources, because if you believe that the world has enough for everyone, you would neither need to control the population, nor amass wealth.
But I digress…..
We now live in a world where (for the most part), we have more choice, more freedom and more opportunity, but because people still have these ideals around being sweet and humble, not making a fuss and not asking for more than they “need”, most people are still on the hamster wheel of life.
This belief that it is “bad” to ask for what you want, is also what stops people from manifesting exactly WHAT they want. People put a prayer out to the Universe and magically expect that what they want will show up just because they have visualised it. Now visualisation is a MAJOR part of manifesting, but if you don’t back it up with action, you get nothing. We live in a physical reality, so you have to do at least some small thing in the physical world for your manifestation to be realised. I can’t tell you how many clients have come to me telling me that their plan is to win the lotto and that it will happen because they have visualised it and believe it 🤦🏻♀️ Please understand, that’s not how it works…
The key to manifesting is this:
- Get clear on what you want
- Make it a non-negotiable
- Ask for what you want
- Expect that it is done.
When I say, “ask for what you want”, what I really mean is ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF.
Think of a time when you have needed to care for someone else – a child, a parent, a friend, a client etc. When the needs of someone else are your responsibility, you make it very clear what you expect and you make sure that it happens! It’s non-negotiable. You are fair and reasonable, but there is no way you will stop advocating for that person until you get what you want. You make sure that they get the best care, the right people, the right outcome and you weave your magic like the spider in Charlotte’s web. And in doing so…. YOU MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So why don’t you do the same for yourself???
Seriously…. Think about it. Journal about it if you have to.
The fact is, it is utterly RIDICULOUS that you would move mountains for everyone else you love and care about, but not for yourself.
Manifestation has to be approached the same way as advocacy for another person – you ask for what you want and you make sure it happens. You ask, you call the right people and you don’t stop until it is done.
You don’t do it from a place of hustle – you do it from a place of flow, i.e. “I expect this. I expect that it will be easy. I will make my expectations clear to everyone involved.” And you take steps to make sure that it is done from a place of positive expectation and dogged determination.
Here are some journal prompts to help you with your own self-advocacy.
- What do I really want?
- Is this non-negotiable? (Hot tip: If it’s negotiable, it’s not likely to ever happen)
- What are my expectations around this? (List out EXACTLY what you want and no less. What will you receive? How will people treat you? Will the process be easy?)
- What steps do I feel inspired to take right now to get what I want? (Who can you reach out to? What steps can you take? What project can you start?)
It’s time to stop “playing nice” and being a wall flower. Be your own advocate, because no one else will do it for you and quite frankly, you aren’t a victim, so put on your brave face and go do it for yourself.
Happiness is now.